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The White Knuckler
The White Knuckler '''is the 3rd episode of Season Two. '''Plot Summary Andre brings in a new partner to expand his medical practice; Ruxin uses a sick child to meet Cleveland Browns WR Joshua Cribbs (who appears as himself); and Pete deals with the complications of dating Kevin's ex-girlfriend (Lake Bell). 'Full Plot' Pete and Ruxin are at Kevin's place, and Ruxin finds a copy of Kevin's "Weight Training for Dummies" book. It is revealed that Kevin has a massive library of Dummies books, including "Law for Dummies", particularly sad because Kevin is a lawyer. At the bar, Andre mentions that he is merging his plastic surgery practice with another doctor's, whom he describes as a "class act." Pete points out that sportscasters use the term "class act" only when discussing black NFL coaches, and Andre admits that his new partner, Dr. Maxwell, is indeed black. They discuss other labels sportscasters use, such as "firecracker" for Latino players, and "gym rats" for white players. They also discuss Brooke, a former girlfriend of Kevin's who Pete is now dating. Kevin reminds them of her high school nickname, "The White Knuckler", so-called because when she gave hand-jobs she used to squeeze so hard her knuckles would turn white. Taco reveals he is taking a martial arts class, and finishes his third beer before attending class. Later, at Pete's, Pete and Brooke discuss Kevin and share a laugh over how portly he used to be. Brooke off-handedly mentions that she remembers how pretty Kevin's cock was, then regrets it as Pete is clearly not okay with the turn in the discussion. Ruxin's job sends him on a community service stint, where he is tasked with helping a terminally ill child named Colin realize his "Make A Wish". Colin's wish is to meet Baltimore Raven's linebacker Terrell Suggs, but Ruxin would rather he meet Cleveland Browns kick-returner Josh Cribbs, as Ruxin has Cribbs on his fantasy team and hopes to inspire him to score a lot of points for the upcoming game. In the park, Ruxin gloats to Kevin over his upcoming meeting with Cribbs, promising that he'll use it to his advantage and beat Kevin in their head-to-head match-up. They are joined by Taco, who is carrying a dangerous martial arts weapon called a "naginta", which features a long handle with a sword-like blade at one end. Kevin cautions Taco to be careful with it and is horrified as Taco accidentally beheads a child's doll with the weapon. Andre meets with Dr. Maxwell, explaining his vision for their combined practice reaching new heights, while trying to avoid appearing racist by mentioning that he had a black friend, Percy, though he admits Percy is now in prison. At Kevin's, Pete and Kevin work out, though Pete's discomfort leads Kevin to the realization that Brooke mentioned how pretty his cock is. At Andre's party, a sign reads "Whites Only, Strictly Enforced", which is meant to signify the dress code but appears to some patrons to be racist in nature. Ruxin arrives with Colin and Josh Cribbs, to find Kevin has invited Terrell Suggs, the player Colin really wanted to meet. Disgusted with Ruxin, Cribbs, Suggs, and Colin leave. Taco begins his performance, which is a song about his naginata, which he swings around while singing. Due to some of the lyrcis, such as "naginta please", many of the party patrons, including Dr. Maxwell, think Taco is using racial slurs. Dr. Maxwell informs Andre that their partnership is over. While dancing, Taco loses control of his weapon, which flies into the crowd, cutting Kevin's leg and penis. Pete is initially thrilled that Kevin's pretty cock has been disfigured, but grows horridied as Andre, performing first aid, directs Brooke to use her white knuckler abilities to apply pressure to Kevin's wounded penis. Kevin, while injured, feels well enough to gloat. Quotes Pete: Cryptography for Dummies? Three seconds: what is cryptography? Kevin: You know what, that one came in a set. Taco: I'm half black. Kevin: Mom is Italian. Taco: I know. I'm black on the inside. Ruxin (pointing to his head): What are you up here? Taco: A racecar driver. Kevin: What lap are you on? Taco: Thirty-three. Ruxin: You're from Baltimore, huh? Colin: Yep. Ruxin: You watch "The Wire"? Colin: No. Ruxin: Ugh. Show's brutal. You should check it out on Blu-Ray. Kevin: How do you even sleep at night? Ruxin: Usually on my side with a pillow between my legs. Taco: Sye-yah soo-yah kye-yah kaa-see. Ruxin: What does that mean? Taco: That's made up Japanese for "I'm gonna go get high right now." Category:Taco lines Category:Season 2 Category:Episodes